Thoughts about Anger

Heather Shinn
May 27, 2017
2 min read

Many students have difficulty with anger and self regulation, not just those on the spectrum. Sometimes it is due to lagging skills and developmental immaturity. Which, over time, a person will mature and learn skills. Other times it is part of a persistent disability which may cause a life long struggle with anger and self regulation.

In order to coach a student about their anger you need to understand anger, understand the child, and consider the bigger picture.

Anger does serve a purpose to protect oneself and fight if they can't leave a situation. There are varying schools of thought regarding whether anger is a secondary emotion driven by fear, shame, or pain or a primary emotion that people mask with fear, shame, etc.

No matter what side of the debate we may align, most agree that safety is the biggest factor. Too often, people in a rage will injure themselves, caregivers, or loved ones.

Our Dallas schools use the PBIS model which proactively assists all students in self regulation and behavior support. The emphasis is on prevention, skill building, and relationship building for any student. I especially like their Tier system that gives staff interventions to try and helps identify true Tier 3 behaviors. There is info for parents as well.

The blogger, speaker, and autism advocate, Chris Bonnello, of Autistic Not Weird, shares his anger hind sight. He came up with his own strategies to manage his angry outbursts and later shared them to successfully help his friend. He is a great example of a person who, over time, matured, learned coping skills and recognizes the usefulness of self regulation. His article might be helpful for older students to read. You can follow Chris on Facebook or his website.

There are numerous books, websites, webinars, and local resources to help people learn about and manage anger.

These are some of the books we use with students and are available to borrow from our office.